I have demons in me.
operation have a gay friend backfired
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
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