the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
