im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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