uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
