the new term for farting is butt boxing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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