Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
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