did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
