dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Randomize