Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
my being single is dangerous.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
