Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
