I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
