He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize