so that wasnt chicken after all
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
