Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
