Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
