And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
