So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Help. Why am I so naked?
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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