we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
