found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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