How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize