I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
