It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
