it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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