Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
a search helicopter?!
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
