It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
