The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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