you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
