I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I don't think brook has ever known best
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize