he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
