Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
