yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you had me at cake vodka
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I would fuck him just for his dog
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
