Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
