Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize