Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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