At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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