Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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