If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
you win again, gameday.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
