She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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