he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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