Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
