Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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