IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
