I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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