So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
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