Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
from now on my penis is your penis
there's paper in my vomit.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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