smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Ketchup is God's man juice
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
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