tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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