I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
