Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
dude i'm inner monologue high
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
