i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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