yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
