I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
