Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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