So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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