butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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