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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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