Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize
