Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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