Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
its liver damage thursday
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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