Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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