I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I wish I could teleport
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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