Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
