I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
