New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Randomize
