69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
