And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize