U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
