I wanna passion pit in your ass
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
